1.5M ratings
277k ratings

See, that’s what the app is perfect for.

Sounds perfect Wahhhh, I don’t wanna

Something

by @thejerseydeviledoodleblog​ for @sarahwhat (& @redeemer-headcanon for being a read pinch-hitter)

Summary: In which they play at being a couple for a laugh, and instead, end up spiraling towards something else instead.

The Bull is the most unlikely, but most… appreciated friend that Dorian has made here in the frigid South.

He won’t admit that he finds the Tal-Vashoth’s brand of humor somewhat entertaining, or that he enjoys the way they can snip and argue and yes even exchange somewhat flirty banter, while also retreating back to safer waters where he doesn’t have to consider the way the Bull’s shirts always seem too tight, or that he himself has grown into the habit of making punny rather than witty statements just to see the Bull snigger and—

Ahem.

In short, the Bull is a surprising, generous, and well-appreciated friend.  One of a small, but growing collection of friends, plural, he’s made in Fereldan. They are the sort of friends that makes the cold passably bearable—not that he’ll tell any of them that. Especially the girls; they’d never let him live it down.

But the Bull stands head and shoulders (pun very much intended) above the rest in his sheer generosity and a heart that is far too big to be true, sometimes, but well, here they are. It’s easier to blame the Bull’s big heart for the start of the whole affair, rather than acknowledge the fact that they were spiraling towards the inevitable together.

It starts like this: Dorian’s lease is almost up, and though Lace has been a darling roommate, it seems that she and Krem are rather serious about taking Things a step forward and will risk co-habitation, so she’s going to be gone soon, as will her half of the rent.  

He’s teased her well and truly, and earned enough kicks to his shins to make it maybe not his smartest idea, but so worth it.  However, as they—Dorian, the Bull, Lace and Cremisius, that is—work on packing up her surprisingly few boxes, with the two of them working on sorting out Lace’s Tupperware from Dorian’s, he comes to the sudden, surprising conclusion that his lease will soon be up and he remarks, “Oh, I probably should look for a new roommate, or maybe, find somewhere else to stay.”

Lace glances over at him, incredulous.

“Dorian, I understand that perfectionists procrastinate but this is ridiculous.”

“Oh I’m sure I’ll think of something,” Dorian replies, trying to wave away her concern. “As my freshmen seminar urchins are fond of saying: one cannot expect to adult well all the time.”

That seems to be the Bull’s cue to stick his head and horns into the kitchen door with an unattractive waggle of his brows.

“What’s this about adultery I hear?”

Keep reading

Adoribull Holiday Exchange Adoribull Fake dating Modern AU thejerseydevile

Fake Dating for @stupidlullabies by @hcvillicrd

Festivus had the tendency of being an absolute disaster for Dorian Pavus, whether he intentionally pushed the holiday in that direction or not. Add in family reunions, and he could be sure that at least three people in the family would be crying by the end of the night. This year, however, he had one goal in mind: his eyeliner would not be smeared as he walked out the door, and he would carry himself with pride.

The only issue? It had become something of a habit to shock and astound not only his parents but every other extended member of the family with some sort of surprise. Last year it had been dreadfully long hair, the year before a ridiculous amount of piercings, and the year before that he had gladly shown off his brand-new tattoos in all their wonderful Tevinter-esque style. This year would be the year to undo all others.

And that’s how he ended up calling Cremisius Aclassi at one in the morning three days before the family reunion, asking if he could borrow his large Qunari friend for the get-together.

“Altus, what now?” Krem picked up the phone sounding all but awake, and Dorian could hear Lace’s quiet grumbling in the background, which meant that he’d most likely woken them up. Oops, how unfortunate.

The mage ran a hand over his eyes and wondered on how exactly to phrase this without causing Cremisius to have a heart attack. “I need your help. There’s a Pavus gathering on Friday and I need a boyfriend-”

“No, absolutely not, there will be no way in hell that I ever go with you to a shitshow like that! It’d be like going back to Tevinter all over again. Do you want me to throw myself to the dogs? Is that something you find fun?” Krem started blathering before he could even finish, and Dorian patiently listened to all the reasons his dear friend had decided that no, they would not look good together.

“No, but I do want to borrow your Qunari friend for the occasion. He seems like he’d be a man up to the task!” A daring and daunting request, maybe, but it was worth a shot. There was a long pause and silence dragged between the two for an agonizingly long moment. Dorian settled a bit more into his comfortable arm chair, closing his laptop and setting it aside while he waited.

“I don’t know. I’d have to talk to him. Shit, he might be crazy, but I don’t think he’d be that crazy.”

“Just give me his number, and we’ll work it out between ourselves. No need for your involvement beyond this point, I promise.”

“Fine, I’ll text it to you.” There was a sudden beep and the droning tone that told Dorian that Krem had decided to hang up. Huffing, he re-opened his laptop and waited. About five minutes after he’d started reading about Varric Tethras’ spit-shined sequel to the absolute drivel known as Hard in Hightown, his phone made a pinging sound. Krem seemed to have made good on his promise, and sure enough, there sat the Iron Bull’s number.

Keep reading

Adoribull Holiday Exchange Adoribull fake dating hcvilliard stupidlullabies